Creating Effective and Efficient Relationships




Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.

Building an effective and lasting relationships is a necessity for several reasons. For example in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works.

The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management.

An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating.  An effective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.

People or other entities who depend on these groups or organization also suffer.

Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve  a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

Understanding the other parties' feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent on the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us when we need it without asking for it is not a good practice.

Respect is the key to relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect.  We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.

The opposite of respect is quick forming of judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice.

Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives.

Work towards a win-win solution for both parties.

This can be done when at least one party acknowledges that the relationship is important. That party would then exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party's needs and deal with it to get it out of the way. Should they fail, it is comforting for that party to know that they tried.

Effectively listening and no pre-judging. This is important if parties are to understand each other.

Informal discussions are conducive for parties. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.

Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings when they need to.

When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.

Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship.  Human nature is one. Some of these things found in a relationship also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party's feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.

Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say 'No man is an Island'.



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The 20 Second Countdown

Why everywhere you look are top psychologists and doctors still teaching outdated methods for treating general anxiety and panic attacks?

It seems every time I do a search online there is yet another anxiety “expert” rehashing the same old ideas. Brown Paper bags, think happy thoughts, do your breathing etc. I am sure you have come across them a million times before already.
How are people supposed to solve their anxiety issue if they are continuously exposed to these techniques and methods that only teach people to cope with anxiety. Just coping is not good enough. Real solutions are needed.
I want to share with you something that does work. It is a very simple way to help end the fear of a PANIC ATTACK. (In later emails I will address feelings of general anxiety)
This is a very good exercise for people who want something practical to focus their attention on when they feel the pressure of a panic attack building.
Its very simple and easy to remember. Here goes…
The 20 Second Countdown
When you feel the sensations of a panic attack building do the following.
Tell the panic that it has 20 seconds to initiate the full panic attack. 20 seconds and no more. After the 20 seconds are complete it must stop making empty threats.
You are allowing 20 seconds for it to fully manifest but not a second more.
Whatever the bodily sensation is that you fear, it must happen within that 20 second time frame.
-If you heart is going to explode then it has 20 seconds to do so.
-If you are going to lose control, then your mind has 20 seconds to do so.
-If you are going to faint – 20 seconds! But absolutely no more time than that.
You get the picture.
By setting a specific time frame you establish boundaries of control. You turn it into a game where you call fear’s bluff. If it were a poker game, you are asking anxiety to show its hand.
This works because it establishes a sense of control within your mind and body.
You think to yourself “I am not prepared to spend my time worrying about this. I’ve had enough. I am going to be generous and give it 20 seconds but after 20 seconds and nothing has happened then the opportunity has officially passed and I am going to go back to what I was doing.”
Then start counting -but nice and slowly, don’t rattle it off as fast as you can. Really tease it out like you did when you were a child and you never wanted to reach zero. Teasing it out is the key because it allows you to feel generous and that you are giving anxiety every chance possible.
Deep down you know there is really nothing to fear.
To really help tease it out, break the last few numbers into fractions.
5…………………………..
4…………………………..
3……………………………
2…and three quarters…
2…and half………………
2…………………………..
1…and three quarters… (last chance anxiety)
1…and half……………… (I really cant wait any longer)
1…………………………..
0.
Sorry too late we’ve reached the end.
By not rushing through the countdown you will feel your confidence soar because you are demonstrating real control and authority over your anxious thoughts and bodily sensations. You are saying “look, I am really trying to give you all the time I can to unleash X,Y, and Z, I am being very generous here with this countdown.
Count your way to freedom. Count your way to confidence.
If you find this type of exercise useful then click here to learn more,

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Rich Mind Life Strategy

Timothy Kendrick

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