Women in their 50s more prone to PTSD than men

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) rates peak in women later than they do in men. Researchers writing in BioMed Central's open access journal Annals of General Psychiatry found that men are most vulnerable to PTSD between the ages of 41 and 45 years, while women are most vulnerable at 51 to 55.
Ask Elklit and Daniel N Ditlevsen, from the University of Southern Denmark and Odense University Hospital, Denmark, collected data from 6,548 participants in previous Danish or Nordic PTSD studies in order to investigate the gender difference in the lifespan distribution of PTSD. According to Elklit, "People now live for an increased number of years compared to that of previous generations, and as a result individuals have more years in which they can be affected by the negative consequences that can follow traumatic experiences. It is therefore important to pay attention to the risk of PTSD in relation to different stages in the lifespan".
The researchers found that the total prevalence of PTSD was 21.3% and, as expected, PTSD was twice as common in women as in men. Most importantly, men and women peaked in the risk of PTSD a decade apart from each other during their respective lifespan. Elklit said, "This difference is of particular interest and needs to be investigated further in future research in order to develop more thorough explanations for the effect".

Source: BioMed Central

Develop self Confidence With Subliminal Audio

Develop Self Confidence With Subliminal Audio

Some people appear to be naturally confident - they have an energy about them when they walk into a room and they seem to come to life in socialising and meeting new people.

Perhaps you are more introverted and "naturally" shy. You probably feel like your outgoing friends are born like this and that you will never be really confident like this, however, this is just not the case.

Confidence is skill just like juggling, or drawing or any other, and this means that anyone can learn it. The main difference between you and these confident people is that they have learnt the skill from their childhood and have been given positive reinforcement, whereas perhaps you have faced rejection or criticism previously, and where they continued to grow in confidence you perhaps became more introverted and entered a negative spiral of shrinking confidence.

Confidence is all in your mind - i.e. in the way you think, and more importantly your self beliefs. Once you change these patterns of thinking within your mind and change your self beliefs then you too will grow more self confident.

How To Do This:

This is how subliminal messages can help!

Subliminals can gain access to your subconscious mind to make positive changes to these damaging self beliefs and unwanted ways of thinking which are holding you back and the root cause of your confidence problems. Gradually they will replace them with positive beliefs and plant the seeds of a confident personality within your mind - basically to stop you thinking in the way that you do and help you to instill the types of thought patterns shared by the confident types of people that people you look up to.

Imagine what it would feel like to not feel the fear and nerves when in social situations, to have the confidence to pursue the success you deserve

Make a change within your subconscious mind straight away with this life changing confidence subliminal album, or if you haven't used subliminal messages already you can try free subliminal messages albums.

10 positive actions to combat PTSD

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Post-Traumatic Stress disorder (PTSD) have nothing to do with one another. But many of us with PTSD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows people with PTSD to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows us to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself
It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For
Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it. (I silently say the word “cancel”)

6. Squash the "ANTs"
In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice Lovin', Touchin' & Squeezin' (Your Friends and Family)
You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination
If you find yourself ruminating (spinning your wheels), a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented, it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music. Motion creates emotion, act your way into “right” thinking.

10a. Buy my new book Wide Asleep (shameless plug)

Peace Be With You

Timothy Kendrick


Timothy Kendrick International

Addiction and Spiritual Therapy

Addiction and Spiritual Therapy

Chief Chaplain Michael Pollitt, D.Min, BCC, CAC

Successful treatment for addiction recovery treats the whole person - body, mind, and spirit. Drugs that have the ability to produce a state of intoxication (intoxicants) do many things, but they have a unique ability to mimic spiritual fulfillment. In the past, treatment often did not give enough attention to this side of addiction. Author Andrew Sheehan once wrote: "I suppose it sounds like a supreme rationalization to say that I believe my drinking and drugging began as a kind of spiritual search. And yet to this day I believe this to be true.....they began to fill the cavernous hole inside me - the great need to be connected to something outside of myself, to grasp in some way the great otherness, the hidden order of things."¹. What addicts and alcoholics want is a reason to live and intoxicants seem to meet this need. They have a way of becoming a spiritual replacement for the real thing. This may be a major reason why relapse is so common.
Traditional healthcare teams provide therapies for both the physical and mental health of their patients but all too often have not addressed the gaping hole that comes with sobriety. By taking away their drug of choice and with it pseudo meaning, they are now faced with meaninglessness. Spiritual therapy helps addicts and alcoholics find meaning in their lives. Give addicts and alcoholics a real reason to live and you give them a fighting chance at recovery.
No chaplain can give meaning to addicts and alcoholics, but a chaplain can help them discover meaning in their lives. Karen Urbanski, an occupational therapist, places spirituality alongside the physical and mental health problems the addict faces in treatment. She believes that a void exists in all of us and that we go through life attempting to fill that void with something that hints at meaningfulness. It is Urbanski's belief that anything, whether it is healthy or toxic, can fill the void. People are geniuses at filling this void, but many of them have made unhealthy choices. This problem becomes even more difficult when the unhealthy choices are intoxicants. At least the drug of choice seemed to give the person some meaning and purpose in life. Urbanski argues that to give up one's drug of choice does not begin to address the problem, but rather makes it worse because the void comes back. At this point, a new type of withdrawal occurs, which is best described as spiritual withdrawal.
Withdrawal is a "positive craving" for that which is no longer present. In this case, "positive" means "seeking after," rather than "something good." On a detox unit, when an addict or alcoholic goes through withdrawal, every cell in their body screams for their drug of choice. The same thing happens spiritually. When the source of their spirituality replacement is taken away, they may crave that inner feeling of meaningfulness the drug provided. For some people, this may be the root cause of relapse. The addict or alcoholic can no longer reach for instant meaningfulness in their drug of choice, and they are left with a sense of meaninglessness and depression.
The healthcare team has long treated the physical and mental health needs of the addict and alcoholic. Often the healthcare team has ignored spiritual needs and spiritual withdrawal. The spiritual counselor seeks to find out which spiritual needs are met by the patient's drug of choice and which spiritual needs are not being met when the person is sober. This approach speaks to the importance of the spiritual side of addiction, and the belief that intoxicants are used to fake an answer to those needs. The major problem that addicts and alcoholics face in recovery is not addiction but rather relapse.
Relapse, the return to one's drug of choice after being sober, may be primarily a spiritual problem. In sobriety, the spiritual space that the intoxicant once filled is empty. Nature hates a vacuum and will eventually fill it. Unfortunately, for the addict or alcoholic, that vacuum is often filled with the drug of choice. The addict and alcoholic cannot be spiritually passive in recovery. With the aid of a spiritual counselor, the addict and alcoholic can fill the emptiness with real meaning in their lives, providing a reason for living. Successful addiction recovery treats the whole person - body, mind, and spirit.
Advanced Information
As far back as the early 1900s, William James, MD (The Varieties of the Religious Experience, 1902) ², found striking similarities between intoxication and the mystical state. He labeled them "pathological mysticism" and "the anesthetic revelation." James believed there were two basic functions in man and woman, the "yes" function and "no" function. There should be a proper balance between the two. When the "no" function dominates, the person desperately looks for something to bring back a spiritual equality in his or her life. What the person discovers is that intoxicants become "the great exciter of the yes function in man" and appear to restore the balance.
Another pioneer in the field, Howard Clinebell, PhD (Understanding and Counseling Persons with Alcohol and Drug and Behavioral Addictions, 1984), maintains that "we will never understand intoxication as a problem until we see it as a solution." He also observes that the spiritual anxiety of the addict and alcoholic is "quieted" by the "pseudo-religious sense of oneness with themselves, others, and the divine spirit." The addict and alcoholic attempt to satisfy spiritual needs with chemical means.
In the late 1980s Gerald May, MD (Addiction and Grace, 1988), a layman, reminded clergy of the major spiritual elements in addiction and called on them to utilize their tools in their ministry to the addicted. According to May, addicts and alcoholics attach themselves to things that appear to fill their spiritual void. Because intoxicants produce a good feeling they become substitutes for the authentically spiritual.
Stephen Anthrop (Alcohol and Substance Abuse: A Handbook for Clergy and Congregations, 1990), believes that we seek out things in our lives that appear to have apparent spiritual potential. When the spiritual potential is not activated, the person sees little reason to exist. Intoxicants become resources with apparent spiritual value: unfortunately, they can also become the primary source of value in the life of the addicted.
Thomas Baker, D.Min. (Understanding the Spiritual Nature of Addiction, 1995), argues that both spirituality and intoxication involve a search for meaning, value, and purpose in life. All persons desire these, but addicts and alcoholics are afflicted with a unique spiritual hunger that they cannot seem to satisfy with traditional forms of spirituality. He also observes that addicts and alcoholics suffer greatly from estrangement and intoxicants seem to provide a sense of connectedness.
Related Information
1. Andrew Sheehan, Chasing the Hawk: Looking for my Father, Finding Myself, (New York: Delacorte Press, 2001), 203.
2. An historical note: It was James' book that Ebby Thacher gave to Bill Wilson (founders of A.A.) in November 1934 at Towns Hospital, NYC.
3. Offering Spiritual Support for Family or Friends (Caring Connections)
4. What is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration)
5. Mind-Body Medicine: An Overview (National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine)

Creating Effective and Efficient Relationships

Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.

Building an effective and lasting relationships is a necessity for several reasons. For example in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works.

The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management.

An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating.  An effective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.

People or other entities who depend on these groups or organization also suffer.

Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve  a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

Understanding the other parties' feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent on the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us when we need it without asking for it is not a good practice.

Respect is the key to relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect.  We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.

The opposite of respect is quick forming of judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice.

Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives.

Work towards a win-win solution for both parties.

This can be done when at least one party acknowledges that the relationship is important. That party would then exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party's needs and deal with it to get it out of the way. Should they fail, it is comforting for that party to know that they tried.

Effectively listening and no pre-judging. This is important if parties are to understand each other.

Informal discussions are conducive for parties. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.

Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings when they need to.

When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.

Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship.  Human nature is one. Some of these things found in a relationship also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party's feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.

Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say 'No man is an Island'.

The 20 Second Countdown

Why everywhere you look are top psychologists and doctors still teaching outdated methods for treating general anxiety and panic attacks?

It seems every time I do a search online there is yet another anxiety “expert” rehashing the same old ideas. Brown Paper bags, think happy thoughts, do your breathing etc. I am sure you have come across them a million times before already.
How are people supposed to solve their anxiety issue if they are continuously exposed to these techniques and methods that only teach people to cope with anxiety. Just coping is not good enough. Real solutions are needed.
I want to share with you something that does work. It is a very simple way to help end the fear of a PANIC ATTACK. (In later emails I will address feelings of general anxiety)
This is a very good exercise for people who want something practical to focus their attention on when they feel the pressure of a panic attack building.
Its very simple and easy to remember. Here goes…
The 20 Second Countdown
When you feel the sensations of a panic attack building do the following.
Tell the panic that it has 20 seconds to initiate the full panic attack. 20 seconds and no more. After the 20 seconds are complete it must stop making empty threats.
You are allowing 20 seconds for it to fully manifest but not a second more.
Whatever the bodily sensation is that you fear, it must happen within that 20 second time frame.

-If you heart is going to explode then it has 20 seconds to do so.

-If you are going to lose control, then your mind has 20 seconds to do so.

-If you are going to faint – 20 seconds! But absolutely no more time than that.

You get the picture.
By setting a specific time frame you establish boundaries of control. You turn it into a game where you call fear’s bluff. If it were a poker game, you are asking anxiety to show its hand.
This works because it establishes a sense of control within your mind and body.
You think to yourself “I am not prepared to spend my time worrying about this. I’ve had enough. I am going to be generous and give it 20 seconds but after 20 seconds and nothing has happened then the opportunity has officially passed and I am going to go back to what I was doing.”
Then start counting -but nice and slowly, don’t rattle it off as fast as you can. Really tease it out like you did when you were a child and you never wanted to reach zero. Teasing it out is the key because it allows you to feel generous and that you are giving anxiety every chance possible.
Deep down you know there is really nothing to fear.
To really help tease it out, break the last few numbers into fractions.

5…………………………..
4…………………………..
3……………………………
2…and three quarters…
2…and half………………
2…………………………..
1…and three quarters… (last chance anxiety)
1…and half……………… (I really cant wait any longer)
1…………………………..
0.
Sorry too late we’ve reached the end.

By not rushing through the countdown you will feel your confidence soar because you are demonstrating real control and authority over your anxious thoughts and bodily sensations. You are saying “look, I am really trying to give you all the time I can to unleash X,Y, and Z, I am being very generous here with this countdown.
Count your way to freedom. Count your way to confidence.
If you find this type of exercise useful then click here to learn more,

For my brothers and sisters

MY BROTHERS now know why men who have been to war yearn to reunite. ....

Not to tell stories or look at old pictures. ....

Not to laugh or weep. ....

Comrades gather because they long to be with the men who once acted at their best; men who suffered and sacrificed, who suffered and were stripped of their humanity. I did not pick these men.....

 They were delivered by fate and the military. ....

But I know them in a way I know no other men. ....

I have never given anyone such trust.....

 They were willing to guard something more precious than my life. ....

They would have carried my reputation, the memory of me. ....

It was part of the bargain we all made, the reason we were so willing to die for one another. ....

As long as I have memory, I will think of them all, every day. ....

I am sure that when I leave this world, my last thought will be of my family and my comrades. ....

Such good men!"....